40 little stupid things
by Owner of Gaara's soul
Summary: NOTICE FOR REGULAR READERS CH10! Yes this is strictly humor, randomness and stupidity... and...GAARA! this has Gaara in it! So read like your life depends on it!
1. NARUTO

Umm this randomly came to me as I was reading another persons story.

20 things you should not do if you don't want Naruto to start talking about ramen.

1. Make ramen

2. Eat ramen

3. Think about ramen

4. Talk about ramen

5. Think about talking about making and eating ramen

6. Buy ramen

7. Give Naruto ramen

8. Anything

9. Live.

10. Die

11. Talk to him

12. Talk about lunch breakfast or dinner.

13. Be any where near him.

14. Walk into a ramen store.

15. Walk passed a ramen stand.

16. Take Naruto to a Ramen World theme park.

17. Exist.

18. Drape yourself in ramen.

19. Drape someone else in ramen.

20. Do anything involved with ramen.

20 things you can do to distract Naruto.

1. Give him ramen.

2. Eat ramen.

3. Steal Naruto's ramen.

4. Put ramen in Sauske's pants. (Just because)

5. Say Gaara stole his ramen.

6. Make ramen in the middle of a match.

7. Ask Naruto if he wants ramen and then tell him he can't have any.

8. Leave ramen on the table.

9. Tell Naruto they're having a ramen sale and don't tell him where.

10. Tell Naruto they're having a ramen sale and tell him where.

11. Put ramen in Gaara's pants and tell Naruto.

12. Put ramen on your head.

13. Put ramen on Sauske's head.

14. Put ramen on Gaara's head. (And don't forget to run)

15. Put ramen everywhere.

16. Put ramen anywhere.

17. Throw ramen in front of his face.

18. Cook ramen.

19. Eat his ramen.

20. Talk about ramen.

(Authoress not responsible if Naruto starts talking about ramen)

(A/N: See ya next chappie I 'm gonna go put ramen on Gaara's head! Bye!)


	2. GAARA!

OMG! It's the return of the idiot who wrote the last chapter! Ahhh! Run!

20 things you should not do around Gaara if you want to live longer. (He's gonna kill us anyway)

If you are Naruto be anywhere near him.

Same as except if you are you.

Eat tofu.

Say Kankuro's hat is kawaii! (cute)

Put ramen down his pants and stand there.

Put ramen down his pants and run.

Put ramen down his pants and tell Naruto.

Stare.

Stand.

Live.

Breathe.

Exist.

Hug him.

Tightly.

Tighter.

Drape yourself in ramen and stand in front of him.

Put spaghetti sauce in your hair and wear eyeliner and say you're Gaara.

Yell every where you go about Gaara's obsession with puppy calendars.

Laugh when he says he's gonna kill you.

Put a bowl on your head and cover yourself in green Jell-O, put on mascara and say you're Rock Lee.

20 things that piss Gaara off. (I know I know I'm just gonna do the top random 20)

Tell Shukaku that Gaara really actually likes him when Gaara's not listening.

Talk to him.

Send a letter to Orochimaru saying Gaara loves him and sign it, Love Gaara.

Ask Gaara about his obsession with puppy calendars.

Mimic him.

Drape him in ramen.

Yell ramen when he walks by.

Ask him what pisses him off.

Ask him why he kills people.

Ask him why he sent a letter to Orochimaru.

Ask him if they're dating.

Ask him what 2+2is.

Ask him anything.

Tell him you got him a puppy.

Then tell him it died.

Then admit to killing it.

Then say you lied.

Then blame it on Naruto.

Be Naruto.

Say you like ramen and you're related to him and Naruto.

(Authoress not responsible if you get Subaku Kyuu'd if you try any of this.)

(A/N: See you next chapter! I'm gonna go see if any of these actually work XP Bye!)


	3. SASUKE saucegay lol

H-h-hi. **SAUSKES TURN!!! **

20 things that scarred Sauske for life.

When Sauske was 5 Itachi plugged in a waffle iron and threw it in the tub when Sauske was taking a bath.

Naruto.

Naruto talking to him.

Naruto eating ramen.

A taco stand in Mexico.

Naruto eating taco flavored ramen.

When Sauske was 10 and walked in on Itachi taking a leak.

Rock Lee's eyebrows.

Itachi dropping him on his head when he was 3.

Plastic bowls. (don't ask)

Orochimaru's tongue.

Orochimaru…Dark room… (Don't ask.)

Rock Lee ripping off Gaara's eyebrows.

The color orange. Guess.

Pink. Guess.

Speedo's. (inside Icha Paradise.

Jiriya.

Kabuto. (you really don't wanna know)

20 things Sauske's scared of.

**SPEEDO'S! **(inside joke)

Plastic bowls

Waffle irons.

Rock Lee's eyebrows.

Itachi.

Orochimaru's tongue.

Orochimaru.

Tacos from that taco stand in Mexico.

Color orange.

Pink.

Ramen bowls. (that's how I can put this up here without getting beat up)

Itachi's camera…What? It bit him when he was 6…

Me.(I bet you can guess why)

Anyone who reads this.

Naruto eating ramen.

Needles. (Who doesn't hate needles. Sauskes no exception)

Itachi's cooking.

Tsunade-Hokage-sama.

When Tsunades drunk.

(Authoress not responsible if you either: A: Scar Sauske for life or B: Scare him so bad he avoids you and makes several attempts to assassinate you)

(A/N: See ya next chappie I'm gonna go thretaen Sauske! . Bye!)


	4. KRAZY KIBA

Chapter 4! Kiba's turn!

20 reasons why Kiba thinks Sauske killed Akamaru.

Sauske threatened Akamaru with a stick the other day because he walked across a blade of grass!

Sauske hates dogs.

Sauske was burying something in the yard yesterday!

Sauskes a **DOG HATER!!!**

Sauske said he would kill Akamaru if he walked on his grass again.

Akamaru bit him once by accident.

Sauske is too afraid of us he knows we could mop the floor with him so he had to get rid of Akamaru!

Akamaru come back!

Sob, sob.

I'll get you Uchiha!

Ok back to the reasons: Just because.

Sauskes a cat lover!!!

No I'm not!

Yes you are!!!

Nuh uh!

Uh huh!

shakes head

nods

**NO IM NOT!!!**

**YES YOU ARE!!!!** **AND YOU KILLED AKAMARU!!!**

19 reasons why Kiba should be put down.

#1

#2

#3

#4

#5

#6

#7

#8

#9

#10

#11

#12 (need I say more?)

Sauskes a cat lover. snicker

Hey! You can't pick sides! I'm taking this over now! sounds of duct tape in the background

He thinks everyone is out to get Akamaru.

He tried to attack me as I bent over to pet Akamaru.

He talks to a dog.

See Sauskes a cat lover! Kiba in the back ground, Akamaru barking

Naruto: Heck Sauske save the money and effort I'll do it for free! Whistles Come here! C'mon Kiba I got dog treats! chases Kiba around room with needle Kiba: No not the needle! No one likes needles! Sauskes no exception! Sauske: Why do I always get brought into the conversation when we talk about needles?

Naruto's reason why Kiba should be put down.

Hey who would pass up the chance to cruelly stick a needle in someone?

(Authoress not responsible if you get stuck with a needle at anytime.)

(A/N: See ya next chappie! I'm gonna go stick Kiba with a needle! Lucky Kiba! XP Bye!)


	5. Gaara teh sequil to: GAARA!

It's the return of Gaara and the moron who keeps writing these chapters for your twisted enjoyment.

20 things gaara would do to a giant puddle if he came across one. (he's a sand person people)

Stare.

Glare.

Make faces.

Taunt it.

Tell it it's fat.

Puddle: cry's Why me..?

Fill it with sand

Puddle: noooo!

Build a sand bridge over it.

Give it a wide eyed stare until it evaporated.

Stab it with his evil spork army!

Shove someone into it.

Suck it up with his vacuum.

Back up slowly and run.

Walk into it.

Walk around it.

Drink it using a homemade straw.

Take a bath.

Make you drink it.

Try to drown you in it.

20 things Gaara would do if you walked in front of him draped in ramen and kissed him.

1. Nothing.

2. Scream.

3. Castrate you.

4. Stab you with a spork.

5. Keep walking while signaling his private guard to assassinate you.

6. Bring out his evil spork army to castrate you. (Even if you are a girl)

7. twitch.

8. Bash your face in.

9. Tell you he killed your parents.

10. Kiss you back… O.O

11. Me: ……………… Heey, Gaaaaaaaaaraaaaaaa!

12. Try to eat your ramen.

13. Tell Naruto there's a ramen-monster outside his house and he needs Naruto to take care of it.

14. Stab you with chopsticks.

15. His head would explode.

16. Blush.

17. Dark.

18. Darker.

19. Ignore you for the rest of his life.

20. Drown you in his giant pool of lime-flavored Jell-O.

Thank you for reviewing! I love you all! Okay as requested by The Damage Done up next is SHIKAMARU! I LOVE YOU SHIKI!

(Authoress is not responsible for what happens to puddles or you after you kiss Gaara draped in ramen.)


	6. Shiki

Wow, chapter 6. You guys must love me! I love you too! And requested by The Damage Done here's Shika!

20 things that Shikamaru thinks are troublesome and or a drag.

You.

Your face.

Your mom.

Naruto.

Ramen

Naruto: HOW THE HELL CAN YOU THINK RAMEN IS TROUBLESOME!?

Me: --O… Not sure.

Shikamaru: Get on with your troublesome 12 things…

anything.

Hugging.

living.

breathing.

me.

tacos. ( I despise taco's XX)

Little emoticon's   XD XP o.o etc.

French fries.

Giant pools full of ketchup. (I LOVE KETCHUP!)

You draped in ramen, following him every where. (What? You don't drape yourself in ramen and follow people?)

Fill his pants with ketchup and ramen, using a fish.

Fangirls.

19 things that scare Shikamaru.

Pictures of people he doesn't know.

me.

pictures of naked people he doesn't know.

Pictures of naked people he doesn't know draped in ramen.

A picture of me following him draped in ramen.

A picture draped in ramen.

Ketchup.

Taco's draped in ramen covered in ketchup.

Me eating taco's, draped in ramen covered in ketchup holding a picture of naked people, draped in ramen holding taco's eating ketchup.

uhhhhh… what did I just type?

fire.

wooden stakes.

dolls.

what I'm typing.

Icha Icha Paradise.

Kakashi.

Perverts.

Internal bleeding.

My friend's edible hair.

Naruto's #1 thing that Shikamaru's scared of.

Needles.

I know you love me for posting 3 chapters today.

(Authoress is not responsible if you get strangled in a dark ally with Shikamaru's shadows) next up is Kankuro as requested by slightlybroken14.


	7. Kankuro aka: KITTY MAN!

Well thanks to a request by slightly broken14 here's Kankuro.

(Thanks to all who review. I love you lonelygirl9426!)

20 things you should never yell at Kankuro.

KITTY MAAAAAAAAN!

KANKURO CARRIES A DOLL!

PREGNANT COW MAN!

FAT CAT MAAAAAAAN!

FAT PREGNANT COW-KITTY DOLL-CARRYING MAAAAAAAN!

YOUR'E FAT!

YOUR MOM'S FAT!

GAARA'S FAT!

TEMARI'S FAT.

WHORE!

I LOVE YOU!

LET ME KISS YOU!

PLEASE!

THAT PAINT ON YOUR FACE MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A BIRD CRAPPED THERE!

DID YOU MAKE OUT WITH A CAN OF PURPLE PAINT?

I LIKE YOR DOLL!

I LIKE YOUR EARS KITTY MAN!

DO YOU LIKE PIE KITTY MAN?

PURPLE KITTY MAAAAAAAAN!

KANKURO MAKE'S OUT WITH PURPLE PAINT!

20 things that would piss Kankuro off that you said about Gaara.

Gaara looks like a raccoon on steroids.

Gaara's favorite color is pink.

Did Gaara make out with a black can of paint with his eye lids.

Gaara pick flowers and puts them in his hair.

Gaara ate my car keys.

Did you get my car keys back from Gaara?

Gaara should stop eating stop signs.

And my drugs.

Gaara is in love with Naruto's bottle of ketchup.

Can you tell Gaara to give Naruto back his ketchup, he needs it.

Gaara licks boots.

Gaara licked my taco.

Tell Gaara to quit smelling my spoons.

Gaara killed joy.

Did you know Gaara eats underwear?

Gaara smells like head phones.

Gaara eats paint like a dipping sauce with my car keys.

Gaara used his spork army to kill my mom's cat.

Then he ate it.

Gaara eats roadkill.

(Authoress not responsible for what happens to you if you say any of the things stated above. However if you do state any of the things above then tell Kankuro I said them, I will castrate you.)


	8. Neji! Who has a bowel problem

As requested by Shukoru here's Neji!

20 ways to scare Neji without getting killed by his Byakugan:

While Neji's "Meditating" (He's actually just taking a dump) Slam open the door and scream something about his mom.

Run up to him and show him a picture of Gai in a speedo.

Run up to him and show him a picture of yourself in a speedo.

Give him a wedgie!

While he's sleeping record a fat lady screaming (Yes like that Drake and Josh episode) and then press play with the volume to max.

Tell him his hair is frizzy.

Dye his hair pink, wait he might like that dye it blond.

Gaara smells like headphones. Wait WTF?

While he's sleeping place and green afro wig over his head.

Tape Sasuke to his shower wall.

Wear his clothes to school.

Legally change his name to Naruto.

Tell him Naruto's coming back to kick his ass again!

Neji: I hate you.

Me: I know.

Shino: Heh, Bugs.

Me wrong chapter Shino.

Shino: … ignores Heh, Bugs.

Tell him has to have an operation.

Tell him during the operation Naruto cut his off.

20 things Neji finds annoying:

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Sorry key stuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuk.. Damn keys.

Me talking.

Me living.

Me breathing.

Me typig.

You living.

You breathing.

You reading this.

He knows were plotting against him.

(He just thinks that. Mostly while hes crapping.) Neji: Meditating!

The strange fact that Gaara smells like headphones. (Just say it to someone, they should laugh.)

Passing out.

Smelling Salts.

The fact I'm going to Disney World (LA right?) for the last week of August.

Did you know Neji eats speedos…

And then wears them? O.O twitch

Spoons and forks, knives and other eating impliments. (He doesn't wash his hands before he eats.) -O

Neji: Oh Joy I'm almost done.

Me: Screw you. Damn.

(Authoress not responsible if you get parts of your boy ripped off and sent to your friends one piece at a time.)

AN/:

I am looking for a possible Co-author (sometimes you just can't be funny by yourself) I can tell those who appreciate me by who reviews. Not necessarily who reviews the most but those who take the time to even push the button and give a sentence or two. It just gets hard sometimes, so it is your turn those who reviewed to be appreciated, by me giving review responses! (Squee! This is the first ever time I get to do this for any story!)

Kuro Uchiha:

Yes Kankuro does make out with a can of paint I've seen him! And I have also had a hard time imagining Gaara kissing paint with his eyelids. Though it always ends up with him getting the paint in his eyes and running around for 9 hours strait screaming.

Shukoru:

Yes very evil. And Shino is going to be chapter 9 I believe!

Loki Zentra:

I know I rule!

Sasuke: And you call me the arrogant bastard!

Catsura: Looks at Loki Don't hit me! Kakashi chapter 12, half way done!

LonelyGirl9426:

Yay 4 KITTY MAAAAAAN! He should have his own theme song!

Sure Deidara chapter 11.

Finder77:

Thanx XD!

Finder77:

XD

Slightlybroken:

YES AND YOU WILL SEE THE MADNESS TO COME!

Shukoru:

Neji is chapter 8 and Lee 13, don't ask me how that worked out it just did that way. YES SCAR SASUKE NOW!

Slightlybroken:

View chapter 7 please!

(anon.) Amanda:

Thank you Love u 2!

Desert.Moon:

I know, that was from a fic I read where I got very few of these ideas from.

LonelyGirl9426:

RANDOM! I don't really, I'm always afraid I'll step on them!

LonelyGirl9426:

Oh. Really? Mine lives in my closet and almost ate my cat. TT

LonelyGirl9426:

Thanx!

(If I didn't reply to other reviews It's because I forgot to print off the seccond page of reviews! Sorry! Probably will put in next chapter!)

To contact me either PM Uchiha Catsura on Gaiaonline (dot) com or e-mail please state who you are.


	9. SHINO! HI LOKI!

Well here's Shino as Shukoru demanded I do, I guess I must involve BUGS! Yay evil and BUGS!

20 things you should not do/say if you don't want to get attacked by Shino's BUGS!

Step on a bug.

Me: Shit, I'm screwed.

Walk in on Shino while he's talking to bugs.

Shino: I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS MY SISTER!

Me: What's this have to do with your sister? Wait, YOU HAVE A SISTER?

Shino: yes.

Me: it is very crucial for me to know what her full name is.

Blind fold Sakura and lead her into a room full of bugs then close the door.

Tell her to take off the blind fold.

Call the exterminator.

Bring out the bug-be-gone.

Take Shino's kick-ass glasses.

Shino: I told you they were kick-ass!

I think it could use more salt.

String Beans!

COME ATTACK ME BUGGIES!

I like to eat street signs.

The Like Like Highway sign from Hawaii tastes like the stars from the Hollywood sidewalk at that Theatre.

Not that I've been to those places yet.

My birthday is Thursday August 2nd.

20 things that would piss Shino off:

If I suddenly came up and licked his face.

If Akamaru suddenly came up and took a mondo dump in his shoes.

If I came up to him and tried to ask him directions on how to get to Honduras while totally bashing the Japanese language.

If then I picked up his bugs and ate them.

If I told him to "Urosai!" for no apparent reason.

If I froze his toes then ate them with a medley of dipping sauces.

If Naruto came up and dumped ramen down his pants using tissue paper.

Gaara eating his street signs.

And his Car keys.

Me: Damn it, Gaara. Quit eating my car keys, I need those!

Ripping his appendages off one by one and sending them to random people.

Staples (the store. SCREW THE "EASY BUTTON"!) I apologize if you like working for Staples.

Ichiraku's Noodle Shop. He got ripped off on the two for one day. He got 2 half bowls for the price of one full bowl.

Me thinking people actually think I'm funny for ripping the Naruto characters a new one.

That's one of my favorite sayings.

If I peed on the carpet. (Sharinganholders13 you are not alone)

Poking me with a needle and a very large ugly cat. (Thanks Loki Zentra. Luv you too.)

If I ate too many German sausages and dies.

Tacos.

Saying the following sentence: "OOOOOH! SHINO'S GOT BUGS THAT MAKES HIM A GIRLY FAG… MAN GIRL, SKIRT-WEARING TACO LUVIN' BRA WEARER…Lady…"

(Authoress not responsible if you get eaten by BUGS!)

Review responses!

LonelyGirl9426:

So would I…

Loki Zentra:

Your reply was above in the chapter.

The Damage Done:

See chapter 6.

Sharinganholders13:

Yes.

Fk!

I know.

I like Ramen.

Bye.

Weird as hell.

Finder77:

Don't do it, your too young to die!

Finder77:

I know.

Weirdest1:

I'm totally kool!

AN/:

Thank you for all the reviews! I'm trying to keep up the chapters for your enjoyment!

NOTICE:

If you used the e-mail address stated in the last chapter or any I've sent you to use do not use it! Use this one instead. And resend anything you have sent me science chapter 7 was posted. am aware anxiety is spelt incorrect in my e-mail address.)


	10. NOTICE TO READER PEOPLE!

I want to apologize to all of you who love this story (If it counts as a story)

I want to apologize to all of you who love this story (If it counts as a story)

Naruto: Uff 'orse iff douze (eating ramen)

Gaara: stares You do that again and I will kill you.

Naruto: starts to speak then chokes on ramen GACK—GASP!

Sasuke: Dobe, I'll help you.

Me: Ewwwwwwww! No bad Saucegay! You no touchie Naruto! You might try to rape him.

Naruto: Yeah! Ewwww stop undressing me with your eyes! Gaara make him stop!

Gaara: lifts hand

Me: Gaara, that wont be necisary. Pulls something out of bag FEAR THE WAFFLE IRON SAUCEGAY!

Saucegay: Ahhhhhhhhhh! No! So, much, shocking. sobs in emo corner

Me: Yes, uh-hem, as I was saying, I have been lazy and half dead. No I am not Shikamaru's dead body, I may update soon, or not. So if someone who I have spoke with in the past wishes to do a few chapters within my absence, due to school and drama please email me at: (minus the spaces)

Thank you- Eau de Headphone! Yay Gaara!


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